Soon...

Welp, not much action on my blog! It's just not what people read anymore, but I'm happy to have a record of my musings anyway. Looking back at old posts is often illuminating.

We went to the pool store to get instructions on opening the pool, which unfortunately has not responded enough to treatments. I'm pretty annoyed that we don't have it available on this hot weekend. Back to the pool store early tomorrow, and perhaps I'll make sure to get someone else to help me with the water analysis.

The summer session at work is busy. Not with students so much as logistics? Not sure what to call it. The reorganization, and the shifting tasks that everyone has. So many people have moved to new positions or left the college that the next year at least will be pretty chaotic. The decision to work this summer was a good one, in spite of not really feeling as well rested as I'd like. It's also a time to work without as many interruptions and without certain people. OK, without a certain person. I do very much enjoy the core group of folks I work with.

Soon, our time away from social media will be up. I'm not sure what that will look like, but there will be a severe pruning of people I interact with. It's not actually so much that I don't like them or the interactions are unpleasant. It's more an issue of my carrying capacity and boundaries. I really like my work friends, for instance, but it also makes me feel like I never leave work. Also, frankly, I just don't want to keep my game face on all the time. Academics are really fucking prissy. 

We've been busy around the house, fixing, moving, rearranging, etc. I've finished multiple little projects, which always feels good. But especially when I am feeling much more abled than in recent years. It's really just lovely to be able to take care of yourself. Depending on others? A little goes a long way. It makes me dread getting older, but what can you do? La, la, la-la-la-la live for today...

Wilbur Hot Springs

Our friend Carly gave us an anniversary present of two days at Wilbur. Carly used to work at Wilbur, and we had sort of just met her when she invited us up to visit. We we so excited to go (we totally could not afford to stay there as paying guests at the time) and we felt worried that we were taking advantage. But she assured us we were very welcome and a beautiful friendship was born. She no longer works there, but does do some work days, for which she gets these trade days. Carly has seen us naked more than our own families, lol.

It's been well over a decade since then! It's just wild how time passes.

I took some binoculars and a bird ID book borrowed from my friend Chris. Not a huge number of birds sighted, but I added a few to my list. Side note--I wonder where my old notebook is from my college birding days. I'd love to look at that again. I'm pretty sure it exists somewhere in this house.

Since coming home, I've been reorganizing and getting stuff ready to be donated. So much of it is stuff I moved to this house because I simply could not make decisions at the time. So we've been weighed down by a lot of possessions we don't need. Grief does a real number on one's brain. Every time I open some cabinet I need to clean, there are old memories waiting. It's exhausting. 

We are giving up the old bunk bed that I got for Ben before Henry was even born, I think. Back in the day when you had to troll garage sales and thrift stores for used furniture. At the same garage sale, I got a huge box of Legos for Ben for $20. I had forgotten that until writing this. (See what I mean? Exhausting and sad work this is.) I asked Henry if he was ready to let go of the bed, and he said he is. It's solid and easy to put together and take apart. I hope to find it a home.

Here are some photos of Wilbur;

View from the cabin

A pokey thing

Cabin interior

Nettle that has seen better days

Old article on Wilbur

I have a thing about bathrooms

The veranda

The mighty hunter has dragged the prey to her cave.

 

Yesterday we got a new mattress. No longer does one go to a store and lie down on the mattress to see how it feels. We now have the convenience of ordering the damn thing sight unseen and hoping for the best. Sure, you can send it back...but how? It comes rolled up in vacuum-sealed plastic bag. There's no getting that thing back in the bottle.

This is an XL twin bed, AKA half a king sized bed. We will try it out and see who likes it more. Then we will either buy another just like it or get something else for the other side of the bed. I have a hunch I will want something softer, but we will give it time and see.

As to the box, our cats aren't really "box cats." They generally have a slight amount of interest in boxes that come into the house, but mainly for their smell. However, Bootsy is actually interested in this one, and we think it's mainly due to the size. This is a very big box, a proper box for a large predator, and one of few that has met her standards. As you can see, she has even put her gory spoils in there.

In other news, have I mentioned that I am enjoying a bird identification app called Merlin? Highly recommend. We are not in a deeply wooded or rural area--or even a place where people can afford to water a lot--so we don't have a huge variety of birds currently. But I have identified a few I haven't seen yet, which is fun. The last time I really did birding properly was in college in NYS, so I'm not good at identifying western birds, though many of these are also found in the eastern US:

• Mockingbird (I can't say I love these birds, TBH.)
• Lesser Goldfinch (!)
• House Sparrow
• House Finch
• American Crow
• American Robin
• and my favorite so far, Cedar Waxwing

As yet unidentified by the app, but I know they are here, are jays and pigeons. Ironically enough, these are easy to identify by their calls, so I'm not sure why the app hasn't picked up the Mourning Dove especially. There do seem to be fewer jays this year.

A few days ago, I was awake far earlier than I'd like, so I decided to go outside and see if I could get any new bird calls. I did not. But I did see the last quarter moon and Venus, so I took a picture of that. (Note the artistic inclusion of my neighbor's HVAC unit. If you're not a CA reader, you might not know that this is common practice, putting it on the roof. It's usually hidden in the back of the house, but it's pretty frequent that you can see it from the street, and I hate it.)

I uploaded the original so you can see Venus if you care to open it in another window. It really is a special sight in the morning.

Yesterday also brought the sudden Covid death of a friend of Henry's. I just need to say, for the thousandth time, YES, it is worth it to be careful and wear your properly-fitted N-95 masks everywhere there are people. YES, absolutely everywhere indoors..and outdoors if you're within 25 feet of anyone. Don't eat inside restaurants. I know most people are not wearing them. They are in denial. It's not safe to go unmasked in public. 

Hug your loved ones. Wear a mask. Get as many vaccines as you're allowed. XOXOXO

It's Gemini Season! And you know what that means...

Summer is ramping into gear. Is that a mixed metaphor? Our dear friend gave us two of her trade days at Wilbur, so we are heading out Sunday for some relaxation in the hot springs! So fortuitous. The weather is going to be perfect. I will post photos if I remember.

I am also in the process of buying a tent and preparing for some summer camping. Even though I'll be working, it's pretty light duty in the summer, and there are only two days a week I actually have to be on campus. And though we have a lot we need to accomplish around the house, the highest priority is getting out into nature and recharging our souls. It's been a shit several years now, and it doesn't look like things are going to get better soon, to be honest. Survival depends on caring for ourselves and each other, so that's what we're gonna do.

Why don't I have a tent? Because I used to live in cohousing, where borrowing one is easy. Also, my previous partner wouldn't go camping with me. He's a good person, but what was I thinking?

We've got to get the pool opened as well. It's not that big a deal, just kind of tedious. You have to time all the chemicals over a day or two. And we need to go to a store and buy things, get the water tested, etc. If I hadn't had terrible sleep last night, I'd do it today. Maybe tomorrow.

And then there's just catching up on so much that I couldn't do before the hip replacement...it's a lot. Who knew dust could collect on ceilings, for example? What the hell is that?? Some bullshit, that's what.

Update on book reading: join the Sacramento Public Library summer reading club! You can be anywhere in the world. I need help deciding what to read, and it's a fun way to connect sans social media algorithms. My friend code is I5ONBTK. It's what all the cool kids are doing. FYI.

Books

I have read two more books since my last post: "Mort," one of the Discworld books by Terry Pratchett, and "The Water Dancer," by Ta Nehisi-Coates. 

It being the only Discworld book that I've read, I can only say that this one did not stand the test of time. I feel like the "clever English guy" style has had its day. Or perhaps, Douglas Adams did it so well that I am spoiled for anything else. Maybe the Hitchhiker's Guide series wouldn't hold up, either. In any event, it felt a bit forced and trite, with an oddly unsatisfying plot. Sorry to speak ill of the dead, but this genre of sf fantasy has much better writers. Get yourself some Octavia Butler if you really want to dive deep into another world. 

My friend Linda just returned a book we lent her, that I had forgotten I read within the Pandemic Time. So it hasn't been three years since I read a book. It just felt like it. This one was Ace of Spades, by Faridah Abike-Iyimide (sorry I don't know how to add all the accents). Henry got this one for me for Christmas, and it was a delight. a YA whodunit with some spot-on social commentary on race. Highly recommend for a summer read.

"The Water Dancer" is well-reviewed, so you probably don't need much of my opinion on this. I was drawn in immediately, which is important for me. I don't like to wait for things to get interesting when I'm deciding whether to finish a book. I had to do that with "Mort" and I only finished because that is part of my personal goal. Fortunately, TWD was not such a book. This was an advance copy, and the book has been out since 2019, so that's how long it took me to get to it, ugh. The prose is very beautiful, and feels a bit old-fashioned. I felt oddly comforted by it, which was a little unsettling, as it's a book about slavery. I don't know what the author's intent, but it seemed likely he was both creating a setting and highlighting that disconnect between white comfort and the enslavement of Blacks.

The violence in the book is largely implied or brief. Another choice that seems to provide comfort while pointing to the atrocities committed. It could also be that the choice was made to avoid trauma for the reader. It's not like we have a shortage of ongoing violence. And maybe the author was just staying true to the magic realism genre? I don't know enough about it to say.

I'm still digesting this book, so I may have more insights later. I did feel toward the end that there were definitely voices in the book that were not directed at me, as a white reader. For me there some new and subtle perspectives on freedom and what it means. In particular, Corrine's camp vs Hiram's were instructive. I may want to read this book again. There is a lot to unpack. 

How it's Going

Hello, my dearest folks. 

Today I am having a very happy, contented day. I am done with the semester, and the summer session-which I will be working-is not yet begun.

Today is super windy, which normally has me on edge and unsettled. But today, it feels invigorating. I said hello to my new neighbor across the street! She bought the house that, you may recall, Ken and Barbie were living in.

Maria is a soon-to-be-divorced woman whose ex's girlfriend is a bit psychotic and stalker-ish. So she has security cameras around her property. I'm glad to have met her so that I don't feel too paranoid about that! She seems quite nice and down-to-earth. I'm pleased. I feel like we are settling into the immediate neighborhood, after a fair amount of time!

I'm looking forward to being able to do a lot of work on the house this summer. I already ticked one thing off my list. I bought an extra long twin mattress online. The plan is to have two of them that we can either put together or sleep separately in, so that we can adjust according to the kind of night each of us are having. 

I have this pattern of how I buy things. I research for a long time, and let the dust settle. Then when I see a sale or the right conditions, I pull the trigger quickly. This was just such a time. I look forward to updating you when I get it in 2-3 weeks' time! Next: a tent.

I told Henry I was doing a social media fast and he needed to call me instead of our usual Twitter DMs. So he DID!! He has finally hit that 25 year old mark of maturity where he is willing to meet me halfway. I am very happy about this. Our relationship is heading into adult territory. Super satisfying!

And also, this is the territory Ben and I were getting into before he died. So, there is grief at that. There is always grief at every happy turning point. They never tell you about that. And honestly, they should not. If someone told me what I was in for, I'd have killed myself in 2014. But here I am, with some life left to figure out.

Speaking of which, I was looking at the alumni magazine from one of my alma maters, and the death notices were some bullshit. 72, 70, 71, etc. That is a terrible age to die. I really don't want to die at the age where you've just started retirement. If I do, you are all welcome to tell God to go fuck Himself, as I have done many times. In fact, that will be the theme of my funeral, if you can manage it, thanks.

There is a lot more to say, but I am just getting back into long form *everything,* so I don't really have it in me to say more today. Oh, just one more thing: I read a book! It's work-related. "Ungrading" by Susan Blum. A chapter is written by a friend of mine, Laura Gibbs. I'm teaching the first year college student course again next fall--why do I do this to myself??-but, damn, those 18 year olds are just so addictingly wonderful. Anyway, I am further going down the rabbit hole of radical teaching practices. Bell hooks knew it all back when I had no clue. God rest her soul. I need to reread her stuff as well. Delightfully ready to plumb the depths again.

XXOO

Liz

Is this thing on?

 OK, here is an old blog I never got off the ground. I do want to change the name, because I now feel like "auntie" has a specific cultural context I was not aware of in 2010, when I created this. But I...need to figure out how to do that first.

There will be an unknown amount of attention paid to this blog, so I have no idea if this will work. The idea is to communicate and connect without an algorithm or those thousands of little dopamine hits per day that I'm addicted to.

Feel free to start by asking me for advice, since this was going to be an advice column to begin with. 2010?? Tempis fugit. Oh, and I deleted the first post from back then as it was terrible. Not even worth an historical, sentimental save.